By Brian Hart Hoffman
To all of you, she was “Mama BFS”—a reputation she gave herself—however to me and my twin brother, Eric, she was Mother. However greater than Mother, she was additionally my hero, mentor, boss, and greatest pal. Phyllis Norton (Hoffman) DePiano’s time with us got here to an finish on July 10, 2023, and my coronary heart was endlessly modified. I transfer ahead with an enormous gap that may’t be crammed—however it’s a reminder to have a good time her legacy and passions every single day.
She wrote on her weblog, The Ribbon in My Journal, that she didn’t need to be remembered for her résumé {and professional} achievements. “It’s not about accomplishments or wealth; it’s about loving unconditionally, encouraging others, reaching out a hand to these in want, praying for and with mates who’re hurting, and being an instance of residing our lives in such a approach that our household and mates know we’re at all times there for them.”
However I need you to know some about her skilled life so you possibly can higher perceive the lady I’m honoring. After changing into a licensed public accountant within the Nineteen Seventies and marrying my dad later that decade, she left the skilled world to meet her greatest dream in life: changing into a mother. She prayed for twins, and in 1981, Eric and I obtained the perfect mother on the earth. Throughout this season of her life away from working, she discovered cross-stitch from her neighbor and greatest pal, Barbara Cockerham. This added yet another expertise to her checklist that already included stitching and taking part in the piano and organ. Inventive prowess led Mother, alongside along with her sister, Janice, Barbara, and one other pal, to start out {a magazine} (with zero expertise doing such) referred to as Simply CrossStitch in 1983. That journal went on to be the most important needlework journal on the earth, and plenty of accolades got here with that influence. I’ll always remember our dad taking Eric and me to an trade commerce present in Charlotte, North Carolina, to shock Mother after she acquired a lifetime achievement award. I keep in mind considering, “Wow, our mother actually is one thing particular to so many. I’m so glad she is mine.”
Over time, the enterprise went by way of change and progress and was bought to a bigger craft firm in 1993 that took the model—and Mother—to a much bigger degree. Underneath the corporate’s possession, she began McCall’s Quilting and different manufacturers that aligned along with her skills and passions. In 1998, the corporate was prepared for different strikes and needed to relocate the Birmingham, Alabama, operation to Golden, Colorado. However as I informed you, being a mother was her dream in life, so she wasn’t about to take skilled development and transfer my brother and me throughout the nation to a brand new college for our senior 12 months of highschool. She and my dad took a second mortgage out on their residence so she might buy the journal manufacturers she’d bought. That buy reincorporated the enterprise as Hoffman Media, and we stayed in Birmingham. I want 17-year-old me knew the sacrifice and dedication that required, however that’s the lady she was. She by no means appeared again with remorse.
Within the years that adopted, Mother expanded the corporate’s choices to incorporate Southern way of life manufacturers, with Southern Girl, Style of the South, Southern Residence, and Cooking with Paula Deen, in addition to others devoted to her passions, like TeaTime, Basic Stitching, and running a blog at The Ribbon in My Journal.
I’m a “mama’s boy.” I at all times have been, usually asking her if I used to be her favourite. The reply was at all times, “No. I really like each of my boys equally. You’re each so totally different, so there may be a lot to like!” My reply was at all times one thing centered round telling her that she was my favourite mother . . . my just one however nonetheless so deserving of the reward. Sixteen years in the past, and 6 months aside, in 2007, Eric and I left our careers—him on Wall Avenue and me as a flight attendant—to hitch our mother in enterprise. After going 5 years with no paycheck and dealing a second job to maintain the corporate afloat and ensure her staff nonetheless acquired paychecks, the corporate skilled nice progress. She wanted assist. Her first thought was to ask if we had curiosity within the firm being generational or if she wanted to search for different plans to develop and put together the corporate to be bought at her retirement. Eric and I each took leaps of religion (right here we go, following her instance!) and gave up careers we cherished solely to find careers we cherished much more. And we obtained to do it alongside our mother.
For my first seven years on the firm, I discovered and labored in occasion administration and model administration and finally turned the chief artistic officer. Then my “Phyllis intuition” kicked in. I used to be a passionate residence baker (you already knew that), and I assumed, “Why isn’t there a culinary journal all about baking?” I couldn’t wait to inform Mother about my thought and the well-thought-out plan that Brooke Bell and I scribbled in a notepad, solely to listen to that she wasn’t so certain this was going to work. However being Mother and an entrepreneur, she agreed to check a problem of this new journal. Within the autumn of 2015, the primary situation of Bake from Scratch hit the newsstands. That situation bought so properly that our newsstand workforce immediately requested if a second situation was on the best way. Mother was so proud.
The next 12 months on the MIN (Journal Business Information) Awards for the Hottest 30 Launches of the earlier 12 months, she was honored because the Writer of the Yr for the launch of Basic Stitching; Eric accepted an award for one more new launch, Southern Solid Iron, that fires his ardour for savory cooking; and Bake from Scratch gained Hottest Launch of the Yr. Speak about a full circle flashback second for me after I joined Mother and my brother on stage to obtain an award for our profession achievements. Her lifetime achievement award from years again was approach too quickly as a result of, in her lifetime, the achievements by no means stopped.
As our international baking group continued to develop, she coined herself “Mama BFS” in our workplace, Fb group, and weekly Baking Faculty with Williams Sonoma lessons. She by no means claimed to be the baker, only a supportive and inspiring mother. I had the pleasure of taking recipes that she cherished and revamping them into from-scratch recipes that graced the pages of the journal, together with her beer rolls (we name them Beer-Cheddar Muffins), her mother’s (my Mimi) Black Backside Pie, and most lately, the Misplaced and Discovered redo of the Pizitz Bakery Cherry-Pecan Cake that graced the desk for her birthday annually as a baby. She joined me within the kitchen for Baking Faculty this 12 months as we made that cake for our Mom’s Day class, and I’m so grateful it occurred. Surprises and gift-giving have been one in all her love languages, and in the course of the class, she introduced me with an apron that she labored to design alongside Tracy Wooden-Franklin, one in all our superb artwork administrators at Hoffman Media, to commemorate one in all my favourite educating slogans for studying the folding approach, “12 o’clock, 6 o’clock, give 1 / 4 flip.”
Mother was additionally Gigi, proud grandmother to Eric’s kids, Hays and Amelia, and summer time was a particular time of the 12 months. For Amelia, summer time meant Camp Gigi, every week at Gigi’s home, crafted only for her and her greatest pal, Olivia. Actions included stitching, artwork, setting the desk, doing Gigi’s hair and make-up, and, in fact, baking with Uncle Buzz (me!). Whereas not excited by studying to bake, Hays was a proud recipient of Gigi’s Caramel Brownies any time he requested for them.
Throughout the previous couple of years, and particularly throughout COVID-19 instances, I made weekly baking drop-offs to Mother of the recipes I baked, some in testing, some from Baking Faculty, and others simply because they have been her favorites. She cherished fall flavors, and her face at all times lit up on the point out of something apple or pear.
Baking additionally discovered its approach into Mother’s residence along with her husband Neal, the love of her life. Within the final 12 months, she loved her favourite pound cake, Jo’s Whipping Cream Pound Cake, with regularity as Neal mastered baking it to make sure she was at all times surrounded by her favourite issues. He additionally made biscuits, and I plan to bake banana bread with him quickly, too! In her reminiscence, we are going to bake these favorites collectively and know she is with us as we do.
My mother’s successes weren’t her aim, they usually didn’t outline her. They allowed her to be a benevolent gift-giver to so many. Since her passing, we now have discovered of issues she did (generally anonymously) to make different’s lives higher. That’s how I need to stay my life, too, making certain that others succeed, really feel love, and make it by way of powerful instances. Even in case you don’t have monetary assets, it doesn’t imply you possibly can’t make a distinction. Baking is love, and presenting somebody with one thing you made can change their day. Could all of us proceed to honor her life and legacy by encouraging others, sharing in our successes, and being a beacon of affection. She at all times informed me that I might do powerful issues, and scripting this remembrance has been one in all them, however it’s an honor to share a sliver of what made Phyllis, my mother, such a spectacular particular person.
I can, in reality, do powerful issues. I really like you, Mother, and I at all times will.
